BrockLi Soup

I moved out of my parents house when I started college, two months before turning 18. At the time, my youngest brother Shaun was 11, and I wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of that house.

My youngest brother was one of the biggest reasons I wanted to leave. Not him personally, although being six years apart, we didn’t really have anything to talk about and weren’t “buddies” per se. From my perspective, I thought my parents were parenting to the lowest common denominator: I always felt like I was being treated like a much younger child, pretty much the same way they treated the 11 year-old.

In retrospect, it wasn’t really that. My parents have always called me their “trial child” - since I’m the oldest, they try things out on me, and then decide whether it worked well enough to be used on the younger two. By the time they got to Shaun, they had six years of experience under their belts, so they were a lot laid back. He gets away with a lot more than even Eric did, which was even more than I did. Every time I go home, I’m surprised by how much they’ve relaxed since I lived there.

I mention all this because I realized today that Shaun is just a couple months younger than I was when I left for college. It’s weird to think about, since I’ve only seen him a few times a year since he was 11. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing the same thing my parents did to me - treating him like he’s still a little kid, because I haven’t really been around to see him grow up into a near-adult.

Long story short: I’m really looking forward to seeing my family for Christmas. My parents have loosened up, my brothers have grown up a lot since I was last able to spend much time with either of them, and I haven’t been home since June. It’s too bad I couldn’t make it for Thanksgiving too, but whatchyagonnado.

This started off as an e-mail to Nicole (or Coley, I’m not sure which she prefers), but I quickly realized that I had a lot to say about the matter and figured I’d post it here.

First, some background: I was raised Catholic. I went to a Catholic elementary school and a Catholic high school. Near the tail end of that, I was a Eucharistic Minister and took part in two retreat teams - one at school, and one for Confirmation candidates. If you are so inclined, you can read the whole story in an older post.

I’ve always found it sort of funny that Easter plays second fiddle to Christmas. I can remember being told, probably in third or fourth grade, that Easter was more important than Christmas because Jesus’ resurrection was the reason that everyone thought he was so damn special. But Christmas was this big ordeal, with weeks of decorations, three different family parties (in my family, anyway), scores of gifts, and all the excitement that comes with being a kid on Christmas. Easter, on the other hand, was a dozen colored eggs, an Easter basket, dinner with half the family, and maybe a longer Mass than usual, if we went to the one where they did the Stations of the Cross - not very interesting, at least not for a nine year-old. I remember being told, “Easter is the reason for Christmas - if Jesus hadn’t risen from the dead, we wouldn’t celebrate his birthday.”

And technically speaking, it’s true: Jesus’ resurrection is what separated him from other prophets of the time. But in our capitalist society, chocolate eggs never stood a chance against the economic juggernaut of Christmas. I don’t think I’ve ever known a Christian who made a bigger deal of Easter than Christmas, but I think most would tell you that’s the way it should be. This seems to me to be an American thing: we like having parties and giving presents more than we like talking about dead guys coming back from the dead (it’s worth noting that we still like that enough for at least one successful zombie movie every year). Other parts of the world - and surely some folks in America, I don’t mean to generalize for everyone - celebrate the “more important” Easter more so than Christmas. Hell, seven guys in the Philippines were crucified the other day - I don’t think many people in the US opt for that kind of remembrance.

It really doesn’t matter which is more dogmatically important (at least not to a lot of people), because the religious meaning of the holidays in this country has degraded significantly over the years. Easter has become more like the springtime pagan celebration that birthed it, and even as an atheist, I love Christmas - it’s the only time I get to see most of my extended family each year. When all is said and done, neither of them bothers me. I don’t often run into devout worshipers that try to preach to me, so Easter in particular goes by without incident. At this time in this society, the holidays don’t have the religious weight they used to, so they’re not worth getting worked up about.

Just so we’re all on the same page:

I don’t think I’ve ever been this stressed. We’ve been double-secret busy at work (got what I wished for, no?) and then I got another short-term high-speed project on top of everything else, so I’ve been extra pissy this past week. And did I mention that I haven’t had a cigarette in over three weeks? That’s been going pretty well, but I won’t lie: I’m ready to put a hammer through something, and I don’t much care what it is.

Also, I hear that Christmas is coming up, but I’ve been too busy to think about it. If you’ve got gift ideas for my family, please share.

On my way to work this morning, I saw two airline pilots boarding a tour bus.

Maybe I won’t fly home for Christmas after all.

My apartment is full of crap. I’d show you pictures, but the cable for my camera is buried in there somewhere, so you’ll just have to trust me. I got back to Arlington today with a U-Haul truck full of furniture and the rest of my stuff. As it turns out, the best way to furnish a new apartment is to rent a truck much bigger than what you need, and then casually mention this to family and friends. Everyone has some furniture that’s yours for the taking if you just get it out of their basement. Now I’ve got a kitchen table, a second dresser, and a bed. It was once a water bed, so it’s even got some shelves in the headboard and drawers underneath.

I’d say that more Christmas weekend details will be forthcoming, but that’s a bold-faced lie and we both know it, so here’s a quick summary:

Fridays are best when they end at noon with BBQ pork and Samuel Adams (I love my job). Baltimore airport may be cheaper, but getting there is a pain in the ass. Seeing the extended family was a lot of fun, as it always is. Christmas was great, and I got a kickin DVD player, so I won’t be leaving my living room except to sleep in my new bed. Driving a huge U-Haul took some getting used to, and I spent way too much time in Pennsylvania today. Matt P is a hero, and solved the many issues related to the U-Haul, including unloading it, returning it, and getting my car back - thanks again, Matt.

Driving all day takes a lot out of you. If I can find my toothbrush, I’m going right to bed.